Are You Trusting God — or Just Yourself?

Many of us have those moments — moments we clearly saw God's hand in a time of Crisis. A day we will never forget, how Jesus’s hand helped you recover and he became the faith testimony to get close to God. The testimony that shaped you into this relationship with him, How He stepped in, changed everything, and we knew without a doubt that He was real and He was with us.

But then life happens. As we grow older in our walk with Christ, something subtle begins to shift. The first love that once burned bright slowly settles into something more comfortable — more routine. The world quietly mixes in. Reverence fades. Faith becomes a background noise rather than a daily breath. We are there — in church, in the prayer group, in the conversation — but not really there.

Then a crisis hits. (e.g., It can be sickness / Life event struggle’s (Job / life partner / Money matters / family situation etc..)). A struggle so deep and private that no words can carry it to another person. From the outside, people still see someone walking with God. But we know. We know how far we have drifted from the early love we had to what were are today.

We know how desperately our own strength has been reaching for solutions — and how miserably it has failed.

And in those moments, it gets worse — because the world is watching. The Enemy - Satan wants nothing more than to point at your life and say — "See? Someone who walked with God. Look at them now." He wants your drift to become his headline / poster boy of failure walking with Christ. He wants your quietest failure to be the reason someone else decides Jesus is not worth following.

But that is not the end of your story.

When you look closely at the life of Saul — Israel's first king — you will find a mirror of what we go through in our own lives — a portrait of how drift actually happens. A man who was anointed, chosen, gifted by God. A man who started well. And a man whose drift was so gradual, so quietly justified, that by the end even he could not see how far he had fallen.

[1 Chronicles 10:13-14 NIV] 13 Saul died because he was unfaithful to the LORD; he did not keep the word of the LORD and even consulted a medium for guidance, 14 and did not inquire of the LORD. So the LORD put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David son of Jesse.

Four words sum up his life: unfaithful, disobedient, wandering, prayerless. Saul's fall was not sudden. It was a pattern — built one fear-driven decision at a time, one partial obedience at a time, one moment of seeking answers without seeking God at a time.

In this blog, we walk through three of Saul's defining mistakes that made God's glory depart — the very thing the Bible calls "Ichabod" [1 Samuel 4:21 NIV] 21 She named the boy Ichabod, saying, "The Glory has departed from Israel". Saul's life is a slower version of the same tragedy.

We walk through these not to judge him, but to see ourselves clearly. Because if we are honest, his struggles are not ancient history. They live in our everyday decisions more than we would like to admit.

Lesson 1 —Fear Speaks Louder Than God

1 Samuel 13 — The Gilgal Crisis

Read thru 1 Samuel 13 to Picture the scene. The Philistine army has assembled — three thousand chariots, six thousand horsemen, soldiers as countless as sand on the seashore (1 Samuel 13:5). Saul's own men are terrified, hiding in caves and thickets. The army is scattering. Samuel has not arrived yet.

[1 Samuel 13:11-12 NIV] 11 "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, 12 I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."

Satan uses Fear as a tool bring down God’s people, Many times he makes us fear and fret, that makes us panic and do many things without consulting God or using Godly wisdom. Satan would tremble if we stand down and not be in fear, see the young David who stood against Goliath, he did not tremble with fear as others did..

Because of fear Saul and his men did not wait for God's appointed man. He looked at the size of the enemy, looked at the chaos around him, and decided to act on his own — wrapped in the language of worship. Samuel's response cuts through immediately: [1 Samuel 13:13 NIV] 13 "You have done a foolish thing," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time

What can we learn from this?

• Fear is a tool Satan uses against children of God – When you see the situation, don’t panic. Stand firm. Our God is bigger than the mighty army of Satan; He has already defeated the gates of hell and holds the enemy under His feet. We often forget that. Bible gives us the promise plainly: [James 4:7 NIV] 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Secondly, when a believer is attacked, it is an assault against the kingdom of God — and God Himself will rise to fight. We forget to see the invisible army that’s behind to fight for us.

• Stop looking at the size of the enemy — Saul saw three thousand chariots and forgot he served a God who divided red seas. You are an anointed child of God — the enemy is not bigger than the One who called you. when we see the enemy often forget God, that’s a poor mark of a believer, we must trust him. Unfaithfulness is a biggest sin to God

• Impatience is Satan's shortcut in a crisis — Saul waited seven days and nearly made it. But that last stretch of discomfort is exactly where the enemy pushes us to move without God. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit(Galatians 5:22). When you feel the urge to act fast, that is often the signal to wait longer. So pray and ask God the grace to wait patiently in times of cris, it’s a grave to [James 4:7 NIV]  ..“Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

• Rituals cannot replace obedience — Saul offered the burnt offering — right action, wrong heart, wrong timing. God will not be impressed with your fat offering alone without the heart right when you offer, these rituals turn to be meaningless offering to God, we read the same in [Isaiah 1:11, 13 NIV] 11 "The multitude of your sacrifices--what are they to me?" says the LORD. "I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of rams and the fat of fattened animals; I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. ... 13 Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations--I cannot bear your worthless assemblies. Samuel the prophet rebuked Saul in another form in [1 Samuel 13:13 NIV] 13 "You have done a foolish thing," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. Without your heart and mind right offering to God as a burnt offering God

Ask yourself honestly: The last time you were in crisis — did fear trap you ? do you wait on God, or did you feel compelled to act?

Lesson 2 — Partial Obedience is Still Disobedience

1 Samuel 15 — The Amalekite Command

When you read 1 Samuel 15 - God's instruction to Saul was clear. Completely destroy the Amalekites. Leave nothing (As this is a fight from Generations to Generations [Exodus 17:16 NIV] 16 He said, "Because hands were lifted up against the throne of the LORD, the LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.") . Saul's execution? Selective. He spared King Agag. He kept the best livestock. And when confronted, he did what we all instinctively do — he first claimed he obeyed, then blamed the people. He did not take accountability for the partial obedience.

[1 Samuel 15:15 NIV] 15 Saul answered, "The soldiers brought them from the Amalekites; they spared the best of the sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the LORD your God, but we totally destroyed the rest."

He reframed disobedience as an act of worship. He turned his covetousness into a spiritual-sounding reason. Samuel was not buying it — and neither was God, God Equated Partial Obedience equivalent to Divination.

[1 Samuel 15:23 NIV] 23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."

What can we learn from this?

• A coveting heart always holds something back — Saul saw the best animals and could not let them go, its because of the Coveting spirit that made him do that way. We do the same — with our finances, our plans, our relationships — and we dress it up in a reason that sounds reasonable, even godly. But God sees the real motive. Full surrender means releasing the best, not just the leftover.

• Justification hardens what repentance would heal — The moment we start explaining away disobedience, something quiet shifts inside us. Our sensitivity to sin dulls. Conviction grows faint. The excuses get sharper — and the drift gets deeper. What heals this is not a better argument; it is a broken and honest heart before God. Satan loves it when we defend ourselves. God responds to surrender. Look at David when Nathan confronted him over Bathsheba — no excuses, no blame, just one honest sentence: [2 Samuel 12:13 NIV] 13 Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die." That is the posture God meets with mercy.

• God wants the heart, not the headline — Saul pointed to results — the battle was won, the animals were there. But God saw the inside of that decision and rejected it. Even when full obedience looks costly, slow, or risky — God honours the heart that responds completely. Half-done is not done in God's eyes. Partial obedience carries the seeds of unfaithfulness and deceit — traits that look nothing like God. That is what He saw in Saul, and that is why He rejected it. Our obedience is meant to reflect His character, not contradict it.

Ask yourself honestly: Is there an area in your life where you have obeyed God — but only partially? And have you been quietly justifying it ever since?

Lesson 3 — Seeking Answers Without Seeking God

1 Samuel 28 — The Medium at Endor

This is the saddest chapter in Saul's story. By now, God has stopped speaking to him. The Philistines are gathered again. Saul is afraid. He prays — and there is only silence. So he does the unthinkable. He disguises himself, slips out at night, and goes to consult a medium — the very thing he once banned from the land.

         [1 Samuel 28:7-10 NIV] 7 Saul then said to his attendants, "Find me a woman who is a medium, so I may go and inquire of her." "There is one in Endor," they said. 8 So Saul disguised himself, putting on other clothes, and at night he and two men went to the woman. "Consult a spirit for me," he said, "and bring up for me the one I name." 9 But the woman said to him, "Surely you know what Saul has done. He has cut off the mediums and spiritists from the land. Why have you set a trap for my life to bring about my death?" 10 Saul swore to her by the LORD, "As surely as the LORD lives, you will not be punished for this."

Read that slowly. The king of Israel — once anointed by God's prophet, once filled with God's Spirit — is now sneaking through the darkness to knock on a witch's door. How does a man end up here? One small compromise at a time. One unanswered prayer he stopped waiting through. One moment of seeking solutions instead of the Saviour — repeated and accumulated, until the drift became a point of no return.

What can we learn from this?

• God's silence is an invitation to return, not a signal to wander — When God feels distant and no answer to our call, our first question must not be "where else can I find the answer?" but "What has closed this channel of Communication with God?" look inside of you, question every move, everything you do in front of God, he will show the answer where our eyes are blind / ears are deaf to hear them. Saul never asked that. He never humbled himself or repented. He just looked for another door. Every door other than God leads deeper into the dark.

• Seeking solutions without the Jesus’s Spirit is self-service — Saul wanted answers but not God. We do this too — we want His guidance without His lordship, His blessings without His boundaries, His peace without His presence. That is not faith. That is using God as a vending machine. True seeking begins with surrender, not a search engine.

• How you handle God's silence becomes your testimony or your tragedy — When we go to the wrong places in our desperate moments, Satan gets the story he wants. But when we stay — when we hold firm in the silence, when we keep returning to the Word and to prayer — that steadiness becomes a testimony that outlasts the crisis.

Ask yourself honestly: When God has been silent in your season, what have you turned to — your own plans, other people's opinions, or have you stayed in the room with Him, waiting?

Conclusion : Your Drift Need Not Be Your Destination

Saul started well. He was chosen, anointed, and given every resource to succeed. But his story ends in a witch's house at midnight — a king unrecognised, desperate, and alone. The drift was not one big decision. It was a pattern, stated small ended here. Fear instead of faith. Partial surrender instead of full obedience. Solutions sought without the God our Saviour.

And if we are honest — we recognise pieces of Saul in ourselves. Ask God to do in you what David asked Him to do — to search you, test you, and refine you until what is left is pure: [Psalm 139:23-24 NIV] 23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. That is the prayer of a man who wanted to come out like gold from the fire . As Job Says [Job 23:10 NIV]10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

Here is what Satan wants: for your drift to become your identity.

Here is what God wants: for your drift to become your turning point.

The same God who turned the kingdom to David — a man after His own heart — is calling you back to daily dependence. Not to religion. Not to ritual. To Himself.

[1 Chronicles 11:9 NIV] 9 And David became more and more powerful, because the LORD Almighty was with him.

Start there. Today. - What is one area in your life where you need to stop trusting yourself — and start waiting on God?